Distracted
by scubaluver
Summary: What happens when Luke, Liz, and Crazy Carrie visit Harvey's Beach on the same weekend as Lorelai Gilmore and her best friend? AU
1. Planning A Trip

AN: I'm looking for a beta for this story and one other. If you are interested, reply!

Distracted!

"Snack shack boys, life guards, maybe even a little beach volley ball! I am in. I can not wait!" Lorelai grinned as she talked on the phone with her best friend. This was going to be the best summer trip ever!

"_You_ want to play beach volleyball?" Lorelai's friend Trish asked skeptically. Lorelai hadn't dressed out for PE in… had Lorelai ever dressed out for PE?

"I want to watch boys play beach volleyball, preferably shirtless boys, hot shirtless boys."

"You're sure your parents will let you come?" If Lorelai wasn't there she'd have to spend the whole time talking with her parents. Her parents were pretty cool and everything. But they were parents.

"I'll go down and ask. Call you right back," Lorelai hung up the phone and grabbed the latest issue of Teen Beat from her bedside table. "Sorry boys, I'm going to see real hunks, three dimensional hunks that don't have staples in them." She tossed the magazine down on the bed and ran downstairs to find her parents.

When she got to the last step, she stopped running and stood up straighter. Ladies had perfect posture, Lorelai reminded herself as she walked towards the formal living room. "Mother, Father." She greeted her parents who were both reading.

"Lorelai," Richard answered without looking up.

"Dinner will not be served until 7:15," Emily explained, "Rosaria is running behind. She probably stopped to take a siesta or something."

"Mother, her name is Rosalinda… among other things," Lorelai gasped. Emily Gilmore was infamous for firing maids. Sometimes she went through as many as two or three a week. But Rosalinda had been their cook for years. Rosalinda was practically family!

Emily furrowed her brow, "Are you sure?"

Lorelai nodded, "Pretty sure." Lorelai confirmed. She'd spent countless hours, sitting at the island in the kitchen, testing out the night's dinner recipes, as she did her homework. Rosalinda had baked her chocolate chip cookies the first time she broke up with Chris. She'd made her pudding the second time she broke up with Chris and she'd made her the most amazing desert ever this past time that she broke up with Chris. Sometimes, Lorelai broke up with Chris just for the special dessert!

"If you say so," Emily shrugged. "Anyway, dinner will be detained."

"Is there a problem with Rosarita?" Richard asked, suddenly becoming invested in the conversation.

"Lorelai says her name is Rosalyn," Emily explained.

"Her name is Rosalinda!"

"You're sure?" Richard asked, puzzled.

"Yes!"

"Very well then," Richard said returning to his paper.

Lorelai sat down on the couch, and tried to release some of her anger. If she asked to go to the beach while she was this worked up, her parents would never agree!

--

"Lucas," Bill Danes called as he walked through the front door.

"Yeah?" Luke came out from the kitchen wiping his hands on a dishtowel. "What is it?" He studied his father carefully. Ever since the last trip to the hospital, Luke had spent time everyday trying to slyly study his father, making sure his health was holding up.

Bill Danes wasn't the type to complain when he was sick. He'd nearly been at death's door before finally admitting that there might be something wrong. Luke was never going to let his father go that long again! He couldn't lose another parent.

Bill sighed, he loved Luke. He loved both his children. But the past few months, it seemed like Luke thought that he was the parent. He was tired of being treated with kid gloves, "We're getting out of the house this weekend. We're going on a trip?"

Luke furrowed his eyebrows, "Huh, the doctors…"

Bill shook his head, "You and I and your sister are going on a trip this weekend."

"To the cabin?" Luke asked, relieved. Lizzie would never relent to going to a fishing cabin in the middle of the woods. If Bill Danes was insistent upon having a family vacation the only place he'd be having it was right in the middle of Stars Hollow Connecticut.

"I'm thinking maybe the beach?"

"You hate the beach," Luke tried to remember how Lizzie felt about the beach.

"I like the water."

"You hate the people and the kids and the…"

"Lucas," Bill interrupted. "We are going to the beach this weekend, do you understand?"

"But…"

"No buts. I am still your father. You are still my son. If I say we are going on vacation, we are going on vacation. Is that understood?"

"What?" Lizzie asked as she came through the door, "Oh, no, I am not going to that smelly old cabin. You cannot pay me enough."

"Good, because I'm not paying you anything," Bill offered. "We are going to the beach. You are going. Your brother is going. The only thing that will not be going is complaints from either one of you."

"But…" Liz started to protest.

Luke turned around and went back to the kitchen. There was no way Lizzie would ever agree to go!

Bill Danes shook his head, "The next words out of your mouth better not be a complaint, Elizabeth!"

"But…"

"Liz!"

"Fine. I won't complain," Liz conceded, "I won't complain if I can bring Carrie."

"Fine," Bill agreed.

"Thanks, Daddy," Liz kissed her father on the cheek before running upstairs to call her best friend.

--

"What did your parents say?" Trish asked as soon as Lorelai came to the phone.

"About what?" Lorelai asked. Her parents had spent the meal discussing some fundraiser they were invited to and then rehashing old club gossip. She didn't think Trish would be interested in either topic.

"Harvey's beach, Lorelai! Harvey's beach this weekend, remember?"

"Oh my God!" Lorelai gasped. "I went down to ask and… I… I'll call you right back!" She couldn't believe she'd gotten so indignant about her parents treatment of Rosalinda that she had totally forgotten about a weekend of boys and beaches and boys! She was slipping!

She ran downstairs again and looked for her parents. They couldn't have gone to bed already, could they? It wasn't even 10 o'clock. She looked in the living room, and the dining room, and her father's study, but her parents were nowhere to be found. She was just about to give up when she heard her mother yelling.

She started to return to her room. If her mother was in the middle of firing the maid, Lorelai certainly didn't need to walk into the middle of that! But was Emily's voice coming from the kitchen? What if Emily was firing Rosalinda? Dinner was spectacular, but it had been served 15 minutes late. Emily had fired people for way less than that!

Lorelai hurried into the kitchen, "Mom, I've got to talk to you," she interrupted quickly. Hopefully, she could distract Emily long enough that she would forget what she was originally mad about!

"Lorelai, honestly, can't you see I'm in the middle of something."

Lorelai shook her head, "This is important. It is an emergency. It can't wait!"

Lorelai stopped and studied her daughter carefully, "You don't seem to be bleeding."

"It's not that kind of emergency."

"If you aren't bleeding, Lorelai…"

"Trish's parents are going to the beach this weekend. They've rented a cabin…"

"This hardly seems like an emergency, Lorelai."

"Her parents have to know tonight! If I don't have an answer tonight, I can't go." It was only stretching the truth a little.

"Then I guess you can't go."

"What? Why?"

"It is the last minute, Lorelai. Did it ever occur to you that your father and I might have plans?"

Of course it occurred to her, Emily and Richard always had plans. But those plans almost never included their daughter. "What kind of plans?"

"It just so happens that the Hayden's are coming to dinner on Saturday. They are bringing Christopher. You wouldn't want him to be here all alone with only adults to keep him company?"

Lorelai shrugged, she was here all the time with only adults to keep her company. Her parents never seemed to mind about that. But seeing Chris would be okay. She liked Chris. Maybe they could even un-breakup for the occasion. "Yeah, okay." Lorelai brightened up, "I'll call Trish and tell her to find somebody else."

Rosalinda looked at the young girl in front of her. She and that Hayden boy broke up weeks ago. It was their longest breakup to date. She had hoped that this one would stick. If Christopher came this weekend, no good could come of that. Since she was probably getting fired anyway, "I'm sorry Mrs. Gilmore. I forgot to inform you that you had a call while you were out. The Hayden's remembered a prior engagement. They will be unable to attend dinner on Saturday."

"Where did you hear this?"

"They called this afternoon with their regrets," Rosalinda hoped that Emily had not spoken with Francine Hayden this evening.

"So, if the Hayden's aren't coming to dinner…" Lorelai looked up at her mother, hopefully.

"And I did not get the message because?"

Rosalinda shrugged. "I am sure it is with your other messages."

Emily sighed, "fine."

"Fine, I can go?"

"I did not say that."

"But, Mom," Lorelai pleaded, "if I go with Trish and her family, then you and Dad could go away for the weekend. You could go to the Cape or the Vineyard."

"Nonsense, the notice is far too short to plan something for this weekend."

"Then you could have the whole house to yourselves. You could have asparagus and avocado on your salad and you could have soufflé for desert. I wouldn't be home to complain. And Rosalinda makes a really good soufflé. It's her specialty!"

Emily looked over at the cook, "Is this true?"

"Yes, ma'am," She had served both Emily and her husband many soufflés. Emily had never complained before. And from Emily Gilmore, a lack of complaints was high praise.

"Very well then. But you tell Trish's parents that we expect more warning in the future."

"Yes ma'am," Lorelai agreed. She hurried out of the kitchen before Emily could change her mind.

"Yes, yes, yes." She chanted as she ran upstairs to call her friend with the good news.  
--

"Hey Butch," Carrie greeted when Luke answered the door.

"It's Luke, Carrie."

"But you're so butch, Butch," Carrie purred.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Liz is upstairs."

"Aren't you coming?" she gave him a wicked grin.

"Not for you, Carrie," Luke shot back.

"We'll see how you feel about that this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it."

"What?"

"This weekend, you, Liz, your dad, me, all going to the beach together? You in a swimsuit, no shirt. Me patiently standing by with the sun tan oil for whenever you need a rub down."

"What?"

"I'm coming with you, to the beach."

"What?"

"I'm coming with you to the beach."

"No."

"Yes," Carrie shot back before running upstairs towards Liz's room.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Luke groaned in anguish. A weekend at the beach with Crazy Carrie, this could not be happening!


	2. The Road Trip

AN: Thanks for the reviews. I am still desperately seeking a beta for this story. Let me know if you are interested.

The Road Trip:

"Liz, come on, get up," Luke looked at his watch and shook his head. They were never going to get out ahead of rush hour traffic. If they waited until after all the corporate types got into work, they'd get stuck in weekend beach traffic.

Liz looked at the clock on her bedside table and groaned. What in the world was he thinking?

"Get up!" her brother yelled from the hallway.

Liz pulled her pillow over her head in an attempt to drown out her brother's voice and fall back asleep.

--

Knowing that the trip would start faster if she slept more, Lorelai had gone to bed unusually early on Thursday night. The fact that her 7 pm bedtime had saved her from a dinner of raw hamburger was just a bonus, really.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. The horrifying result, however, was waking up at 6am, perfectly alert and ready to start the day. Getting up with the sun on a school day was painful; doing it over summer vacation was a sin. Lorelai surveyed her room looking for her discarded copy of Beowulf knowing, from first had experience, that nothing induced a comas faster than anything translated from the "Old English".

The incessant growling of her stomach halted the search, "fine, fine you win." Lorelai conceded as she slipped out of bed and went downstairs for breakfast.

Lorelai was shocked by the various breakfast options laid out on the table. Usually by the time Lorelai woke up, her choices were limited to cold cereal or hot. What was on the table was a veritable smorgasbord of options… well, there were a lot of options. However, it was really nothing like a smorgasbord as it was completely lacking in pickled fish.

"Lorelai," Richard acknowledged his daughter without looking up from his paper.

"Dad," Lorelai nodded in his direction, "What's new in the world today?"

Richard lowered his paper and pointed to the stack of papers on his left, "You are welcome to any of the sections I've finished. I've made it through the journal in it's entirety."

"Thanks, I'm good," Lorelai shook her head. The Wall Street Journal didn't even have comics on Sunday. She couldn't imagine it being more entertaining reading on a Friday.

"Very well," Richard returned to his paper as Lorelai loaded her plate with breakfast options.

With Richard wrapped up in the New York Times, Lorelai dug into her breakfast and the pair enjoyed a few quiet moments to themselves until a shrill shout startled them both.

"Richard! What are you doing here?" Emily exclaimed when she entered the dining room.

"I live here, Emily," Richard explained quietly. "I have for the past 20 years or so."

"What are you doing here at this hour?" Emily clarified.

"I'm reading the Times," Richard explained without reminding his wife that he had been doing that at this hour since they'd moved into the house 20 years before, as well.

"You're late."

Richard looked at his watch and frowned, "I believe you are mistaken."

"You must be late," Emily insisted. "Certainly Lorelai hasn't joined us prior to noon. It would be so unlike her."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "funny."

"I was under the impression that waking before tea time was against your religion. Of course, after last night, I suppose I should be happy that you joined us for a meal at all."

Lorelai sighed, "You aren't serving raw hamburger for breakfast." Lorelai pointed to the food in front of her. "No raw meat at all."

"It was steak tartar."

"Which is a fancy word for raw hamburger."

"It is ground filet mignon, Lorelai. It is most certainly not hamburger."

"Fine, it is expensive raw hamburger."

"You are the one that is always saying how much you like hamburgers and hot dogs and French fries. You should have enjoyed it."

"I enjoy my hamburgers cooked with a bun, not raw with an egg… a raw egg."

"It is a delicacy, Lorelai."

"It is disgusting, to put it delicately."

"When are the Hastings arriving to pick you up?"

"Anxious to get rid of me?"

"I had Genevieve pack your bathing suit as well as some appropriate outfits for whatever activities the Hastings have planned."

Lorelai wrinkled her nose at the word, "appropriate". She'd have to pack a second bag with things she'd be willing wear. "Great, thanks." Lorelai plastered on a fake smile and said goodbye to her father before running upstairs to assess how badly the maid had done packing her things.  
--

"Jeeze Liz, how many bags are you bringing?" Luke looked at his pile sitting next to the door.

"Not that many, Luke. It is just the bare essentials."

Luke raised an eyebrow at Liz and looked back over at the pile of bags. "We're going three days, Liz."

"Really? I didn't know…. Except for wait, I did."

"Funny, since you packed for three weeks. Pare it down, Liz."

"You don't get to tell me what to do, Luke. You aren't my mother."

"No, but I've got her eyes. One bag."

"Whatever," Liz ignored Luke. It was best to do that when he started acting like he was the boss of the world.

"The bags aren't even in the car, yet?" Bill Danes asked as he came downstairs and saw the pile of luggage by the front door. "Lucas, get the bags in the car."

Liz stuck her tongue out at Luke as he grabbed a handful of her bags and lugged them to the car, "I've got shotgun." She called while Luke was busy playing pack mule.

"My legs are longer," Luke argued, "When's Carrie getting here?"

"Why? Are you all anxious to see her?" Liz grinned. "Does your heart go pitter-pat at the mere thought of her? Tell the truth."

Luke rolled his eyes, "If we don't get on the road, we'll hit traffic in Hartford. It'll take forever to get to the beach."

"And then you'll have to wait even longer to see Carrie in a bathing suit," Liz taunted him playfully. "That would be hard for you? Or…"

"Oh please, the girl wore a string bikini to the firelight festival, in February." Luke jumped in trying to stop his sister from saying anything that would cause him to need to bleach his brain.

Carrie walked up the driveway towards the Danes house and rested her hand on Luke's sculpted shoulder, "Oh Butch, you remembered. I must've made quite an impression."

"I was impressed that you didn't get frostbite."

"If you were so concerned, you should have offered to keep me warm," She purred in her ear as she dropped her bag by his feet.

Luke shot Carrie a look and brought her bags to the trunk, "you two get the back seat."

"I already called shotgun," Liz reminded her brother.

"My legs are longer."

"I get carsick on long trips."

Before he could protest Luke remembered the last time they'd all taken a family vacation, As much as he didn't want to be sitting next to Carrie Duncan, he wasn't sitting next to his sister either. "Yeah, alright."

"Looks like it's just you and me in the back, Lucas," Carrie squeezed his arm. "Maybe I can use you for a pillow.

"Maybe I should just take my truck," Luke shot back.

Carrie grinned, "Even better. I call shotgun."  
--

"Are you sure you don't want some kind of snack, Lorelai?" Trish's mother asked when they pulled over to top off the gas tank and get some cold drinks for the road.

"No, Mrs. Hastings. I'm fine, thanks."

John Hastings adjusted his rearview mirror so he could study Lorelai, "are you feeling alright?" He and his wife bought groceries for two extra people when they knew Lorelai was visiting.  
"Yes sir," Lorelai blushed. "I just…" She couldn't exactly tell her friend's father that she wanted to be extra hungry when they got to the beach so she could make extra trips to the snack stand to fill up. "I'm feeling a little carsick. That's all."

--

Luke had entered some sort of hell dimension. He was sure of it. That was the only explanation he could come up with to explain how he was alone in a car with Carrie Duncan. In the half an hour since they left Stars hollow, she'd changed the radio station at least 15 different times. Only one of them was going to survive the trip, and Luke was not going to be taken down by Crazy Carrie Duncan.

"Carrie, quit messing with the radio," he growled.

Carrie purred when Luke growled, "hey Luke, pull over there." She pointed to a convenience store in the distance.

"What? We just left," he argued, "and we'll be there in another hour or so if we don't make too many stops."

"Please, Luke, it's important," Carrie turned the corners of his mouth down in a pout, "Please?"

Luke pulled into the convenience store parking lot. "This is the only stop," he commanded.

"Yes sir," she gave him a mock salute before going into the store to find other things that would make Luke growl.

--

"Do you need to sit up front?" Trish's mother asked, concerned. She didn't want Lorelai to be sick.

"We could open some windows," Offered John who didn't want Lorelai ruining his upholstery. He made a mental note to check with his daughter about her friends' stomachs before inviting them on road trips so he could prepare to rent a car.

"No," Lorelai protested. Suddenly her little white lie had turned into a big thing. "I'll just run in and get some Ginger Ale. That should do the trick." She hopped out of the car and went into the store before Trish's parents could protest further.

"Hey," Trish waved when Lorelai entered.

Lorelai found her friend intensely studying all of the options in the candy aisle. "Big decision," Lorelai agreed.

"I thought you were staying in the car to avoid temptation."

Lorelai laughed, "It got complicated. And by the looks of your basket, it never would have worked."

"Hey, a girl's gotta get while the getting is good." Trish shrugged, "my mother only lets me eat junk like this when you're around."

"Ah, the true reason we are friends."

"Precisely," Trish teased.

"Are you two planning on standing there all day?"

Lorelai looked over at the girl who interrupted them, "wasn't planning on it until you asked."

The girl rolled her eyes, "they don't sell Barbie dolls here. But I saw an Archie comic on the magazine rack. That seems about your speed, Betty."

"I'm a brunette," Lorelai scoffed, "so are you, I'm guessing."

"You need to get your eyes checked."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing about your roots."

The girl grabbed a handful of Tootsie-Pops, Blow-Pops and Ring-Pops and stormed off to the checkout counter.

Lorelai and Trish finished making their selections and got in line at the counter just as the checker was bagging the bottle blonde's purchases.

Trish waited until the girl was out of earshot to comment on the girl's magazine. "What exactly does little kid candy have to do with "Six Simple Secrets For Satisfying Your Man?"

--

"The hell are you doing, Carrie?" Luke asked his voice deep, distressed.

Carrie took her Ring-Pop's gem in her mouth and gave it a thorough polish with her tongue before answering in her most seductive voice, "would you like me to show you?"

Luke groaned, "I'd like you to stop."

"Make me," she taunted as she slid her hand down his thigh and squeezed.

Luke nearly drove off the road.

--

"Is this guy drunk?" John Hastings frowned as he watched the truck in front of him swerve. They'd been following the same car for miles. He'd been annoyed at the driver's insistence on going the speed limit despite the lack of traffic. He'd tried to pass the truck a number of times but whenever he had a dotted yellow line a car came in the other direction. It was some kind of conspiracy. But now the truck was swerving. That wasn't safe!

The truck in front of him slowed and made a right turn onto a smaller street.

"Thank God," he breathed a sigh of relief.

"This is our turn," Marcia pointed out urgently.

"It can't…" It was. He made a sharp turn onto their street. "Where does that guy think he's going?" John asked as the truck slowed down right in front of the Hastings's driveway.

"Across the street," Trish noted as the truck in front of them made a left hand turn into the driveway of the house that sat directly across from theirs.

"Very helpful," John snorted. He pulled into his own driveway and watched a teenage girl, not much older than Trish and Lorelai, step out of the car. "I hope they don't throw any loud parties this weekend."

"I hope they do," Lorelai whispered in Trish's ear.  
--

"We're here!" Carrie shouted with delight. "You think your dad and Liz have already…" Carrie saw her best friend waving from the front door. "Lizzie," Carrie took off to greet her friend.

Luke grabbed Carrie's bag of torture devices masquerading as candy and tossed it in a nearby trashcan.

--

Lorelai and Trisha ran upstairs to check out the house.

"We put you girls in the bedroom with the twin beds," Marcia explained as they went through the house. "Last time you girls kept the whole house awake with your running back and forth, to and fro, up and down the hall to talk. This time you girls can stay up all night gabbing without disturbing anyone else. But there will be no complaining about being tired in the morning, understand?"

Trish and Lorelai agreed and went to scope out their room, "Oh no!" Lorelai exclaimed, "I left my book bag in the car."

"You brought your summer reading? It's a weekend at the beach."

Lorelai shook her head, "there is like two whole months left in summer vacation. I haven't even bought the books, yet.

Trish sighed in relief, "you haven't been abducted by aliens and replaced by a look-alike."

"Good to know," Lorelai laughed.

"What's in the book bag?"

"I'll show you," Lorelai grinned before running downstairs to get her bag of magazines dedicated to boys and beauty tips, all the important summer reading.

Lorelai grabbed her bag and started up the stairs towards Trish's house. When she looked behind her she noticed the boy across the street was carrying luggage up to his house. He had a pair of bags in each hand but handled them with ease. She could use a guy like that to carry her bags as if they were nothing. He wasn't bad to look at, either. Dark hair, nice build,strong arms...what else could a girl ask for? She stood there watching him take first one load and then another.

"Lorelai," Trish called. "Lorelai, did you get lost?"

Lorelai looked up when she heard her name. "What?" She looked up to see her friend standing at the top of the stairs, "oh, I just got a little, um, distracted."

"You okay?" Trish asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Lorelai shook her head wondering what had gotten into her. She smiled at her friend before returning to their shared bedroom. "So, Bo Duke or Matt Dillon?" she asked as she spread the magazines out across the bed.


	3. A Big Trip

**AN**: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I got a little stuck at the end. I hope people are still interested in this one. The next few chapters should be quicker.

Thanks to **Sosmitten** for the beta work! Without her the story would look SoMEthiNG LiKE tHis. All remaining mistakes are my own.

---

Saturday:

"Sun, fun, a day at the beach," Bill Danes mused over a hot cup of coffee, "you know what that is, son?"

"Hell?" Luke offered, smirking.

"Vacation," Bill answered in a less than amused tone.

"Same thing." Luke grumbled.

"You used to love the beach. When you were a kid we came here every year. We built sandcastles together, remember?"

"I remember." Some of them had been fairly elaborate. All those years Luke's father had spent in construction had really given him a gift for sandcastles. They were great until Liz decided she wanted attention and jumped right into the middle of them. Sandcastles had many good qualities but they did not have the structural integrity to stand up to little sisters.

"You had fun making those," Bill reminded him. "You had fun at the beach. You should try again."

"You think I should build a sandcastle?" Luke's eyebrow rose as he regarded his father skeptically.

"I think you should try to have some fun, however it is that you have fun. You didn't go out at all last night."

"Now you're sending me off drinking and cruising for women?" Luke smirked. He appreciated his father trying, really. It just wasn't that simple. He wasn't a kid. He no longer believed in Santa or the Tooth Fairy. He didn't see any possible way that a beach vacation was going to fix any of the problems in his life.

"Isn't that what kids your age do when they go to the beach?" Bill shrugged, "I want you to have a good time."

"So does Carrie," Luke sighed. "Why can't both of you understand that I can have a good time all on my own."

"That's just sad for you, big brother," Liz interjected as she walked into the kitchen from the bedroom she and Carrie shared.

"I didn't ask you."

"I answered anyway," she offered, "That is the beauty of having a little sister."

"Beauty isn't really the word I'd use." Luke snarked.

"Well, nobody's keeping you around for your brains," She grabbed a Pop Tart from a box of snack food in the kitchen and padded back to her bedroom.

"Don't listen to your sister."

"When have I ever?"

"You're a smart kid, Lucas. You can be an idiot sometimes, but you're a smart kid."

"That was an interesting contradiction there, Dad. I can't be both."

"Sure you can, you are," Bill responded with a confident nod.

"You're making me feel a lot better about myself here."

"That's not really my job." Bill retorted.

"I'm pretty sure that it is," Luke countered.

Bill shrugged, "It wasn't in the manual."

"Kids don't come with manuals."

"Just proves the parental job description is a little fuzzy. I've been winging it for the past 18 years. So give the old man a break this weekend and try to have some fun."

Luke shook his head. "More coffee?"

"Yeah, then you are getting in the shower and going out to the beach, understand?" Bill ordered, just a hint of a playful tone evident in his voice.

"Yes sir," Luke snorted and shook his head before turning his attention to the stove.

--

"Early," Lorelai groaned as she sat at the Hastings' family breakfast table. This was the second day in a row she was awake before noon. It was becoming a habit, a truly disturbing habit."

"No complaining," Marcia Hastings reminded her daughter's best friend.

Lorelai looked up and pasted a fake smile on her face.

"Better," Trish's mom answered brightly as she poured glasses of orange juice for the girls.

Trish stumbled into the kitchen from the bathroom and looked at the orange juice. "Got anything with a little more pep?"

"You want a cup of coffee?" Trish's mother looked at her, concerned.

"We were up late," Trish explained.

"Debating the relative merits of Teen Magazine over Tiger Beat?" Marcia asked knowingly.

Lorelai shook her head. "Nope, it was a much more philosophical question," she explained with absolute sincerity.

"Oh really?" Marcia asked with a smirk.

Trish nodded despite the skepticism evident in her mother's tone. "We think it might be one of the great mysteries of the world."

"Right up there with the chicken and the egg and why no word rhymes with Orange."

Marcia Hastings bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. "Alright, let's have it."

"What happened to all the hot Lukes?" Lorelai asked seriously.

"What?" Marcia asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Dukes of Hazzard," Trish offered up as her first example.

"Bo Duke, hot," Lorelai explained, "Luke Duke, not so much

"Who says Luke Duke isn't hot?" Marcia wonders.

Trish rolled her eyes. "Have you ever seen a Tom Wopat pinup?"

"No," Marcia conceded. "But I've never seen a … um… whoever plays Bo Duke pinup either."

"John Schneider," Trish offered. "Lorelai has one in her bag."

Lorelai blushed. "I do," she admitted quietly. "Would you like to see?"

"I'll take your word for it. But that is just one example. To prove something is one of the great mysteries of the world you need more than one example."

"Star Wars," Trish offered.

"Luke Skywalker, not hot. Han Solo…" Lorelai deepened her voice. "Yum."

"Luke Spencer," Marcia countered. She knew both girls were obsessed with General Hospital's Luke and Laura.

"Yeah, he is awesome." Trish nodded in agreement.

Lorelai frowned. "Laura left the show."

"And her leaving the show made Luke less hot?" Marcia challenged.

Lorelai thought about it a moment, "Yep."

"Really?" Marcia questioned.

Lorelai nodded again. "It's the corollary to the rule. All Lukes need Lauras."

"That's ridiculous," Trish complained. "So who is Luke gonna end up with now? Laura Holt?"

Lorelai's eyes widened, "NO! He's not giving up on Laura just because she's missing and might be dead! She's his true love. Besides Laura Holt so needs to get it on with Remington Steele. Pierce Brosnan is hot for an old guy."

"Pierce Brosnan's not old," Marcia interjected.

"No, he's not old. He's ancient!"

"He's thirty," Trish argued.

"See!" Lorelai exclaimed. "Ancient."

--

"Hey, Lucas," Carrie called over to her best friend's brother, "you need some help with your suntan lotion?"

Luke shook his head. "No."

"You'll get burnt," Carrie pouted.

"Not if I don't take my shirt off," Luke argued.

Carrie's eyes widened. Luke at the beach fully dressed? That was unacceptable. She'd have to find some way to rectify that situation. She could get his shirt wet. There was plenty of water for that. But the sun would dry his shirt in a matter of minutes and he'd probably just put it back on.

She wanted the shirt to stay off, for good.

She had spent at least one night a week at Liz Danes' house since she and Liz became friends the summer between their fifth and sixth grade year. They were just about to start their senior year of high school. That was six years of sleepovers. That, at the very least, was 312 nights spent at chez Danes. It was nearly a year of her life she'd spent sleeping down the hall from Luke Danes and she'd seen his bare chest once, maybe twice.

It wasn't for lack of trying.

She'd set Lizzie's alarm for ridiculous hours so that she'd just happen to be awake when Luke trudged into the shower at quarter of six. She'd made a special effort to stay nights when he had track meets hoping that he'd come home in his tiny little shorts and his arm-baring jersey.

He didn't. But she'd always hoped.

Now after six years of friendship she had finally managed to score a trip to the beach with Butch Danes. There was no way he was keeping his shirt on the whole time. It wasn't going to happen.

And if she had to go to extreme efforts for the good of herself and other beach-goers, well she was willing to do whatever it took.

--

"You want to go in the water or lay out?" Trish asked she and her friend positioned their towels away from her parents.

"I don't know," Lorelai grinned, "I didn't eat very much at breakfast. I think I could go for a little snack."

"Shocking," Trish laughed.

"I knew you'd be surprised." Lorelai got up and grabbed some money from the tiny pouch she'd hidden inside her shoe.

"I'm shocked," Trish supplied. In the two hours that they'd spent at the beach after arriving on Friday, they had visited the snack shack 3 times. Honestly, she was a little worried that Two-Bits was going to think Lorelai was a stalker.

When the reached the snack stand, Lorelai gasped, "Oh no. That is just not possible." Standing in front of them, right at the front of the snack stand line, was the bitchy blond from the 7-11. It couldn't be.

"Does she look familiar to you?"

"Blow-Pop girl," Lorelai seethed.

"Is she stalking us?" First they'd seen her at the convenience store, then she'd apparently rented the house directly across from theirs, and now she was schmoozing with the snack stand guy. It was getting kind of creepy.

"Whatever she's doing, she needs a lot of ketchup." Lorelai nodded toward the girl raiding the snack stand condiment jar.

"Seriously, that's… what would you do with that much ketchup?"

"Stage a murder?" Lorelai suggested.

"And why would she do that?" Trish asked, doubtfully.

Lorelai shrugged. "Oooh, maybe she's planning to fake a shark attack. She'll go into the water, thrash around a little, and she'll come out screaming and all covered in fake blood. Everybody will panic and leave the beach so that they don't have to deal with her bloody carcass, or you know, get eaten by a shark. And then she'll have snack stand guy all to herself."

"You need serious help, Lorelai."

"Actually, it's a pretty good plan."

--

Carrie stood at the side of the snack stand and fought to open the teeny tiny ketchup packets. The guy behind the counter had a huge ketchup container with a pump that he used to put a light spread on the buns before handing them over to customers. Was he willing to part with even an extra drop of easily pumped ketchup? No. He'd pointed to the little container of tiny little ketchup packets. Now Carrie was struggling to open all of them.

"Would you like some hot dog with your ketchup?" Liz laughed as she came up behind her friend.

"Funny," Carrie answered sarcastically. "Did you score smokes?"

"I got carded," Liz grumbled. "I got carded at a beach town. How can they card you at a beach town? Don't they know that underage drinkers and smokers are their most loyal clientele?"

"Luke's old enough maybe he could…"

Liz shook her head. "How well do you know my brother?"

"Not well enough." Carrie redoubled her efforts to get all the ketchup out of the little packets, "But I have a plan."

"You're going to pretend like you're bleeding so Luke has to give you first aid?" Liz asked skeptically.

"Watch and learn," Carrie instructed.

--

Liz rolled her eyes walked off. She'd been watching Carrie Duncan try to seduce her brother for years. Not only was it kind of disturbing, but the only thing she'd ever learned was how to repulse Luke Danes. Liz had mastered that at birth. There was no show here… but there was a guy behind the snack stand who just threw away a perfectly good hardly-smoked-at-all cigarette butt.

"What the hell, Liz?" Luke shouted when he saw his sister pick up a cigarette some guy had just discarded and stick it in her mouth. "That's…" He sputtered. "You could get…"

Liz grinned, a free smoke and brother repulsion, perfect. "Oh Luke blow it out your…"

Luke threw his hands up in defeat and stormed off.

Hearing Luke's righteous indignation, Carrie sprang into action. Grabbing her ketchup covered hot dog she hurried after Luke. This had to be timed perfectly, and he was quick.

--

"Finally," Trish muttered as they were able to move up to the front of the line. "The service here has really gone to pot."

Lorelai didn't respond.

"Hello, Lorelai," Trish waved her hand in front of Lorelai's face. Lorelai didn't blink.

Trish turned in the direction Lorelai was looking and saw the girl from the 7-ll running after some guy. "Earth to Lorelai."

"Are you going to order today?" the guy from the snack stand asked the two flighty girls standing in front of him

Lorelai didn't hear what was going on beside her. She was far too busy watching the scene playing out in front of her.

--

Damn all that track practice! She was never going to catch up with him this way! "Luke, wait up a minute," Carrie called.

He turned to see what the commotion was about only to see Carrie Duncan flagging him down. Rolling his eyes, he turned away again and continued on his way.

"No, wait." Carrie called, running again to catch up with him. She was making good progress until her foot caught on something. He watched as she lost her footing and fell face forward into the sand.

When she stood up, Luke couldn't help but chuckle. Having thrown her arms in front of her to break her fall, she landed face first in her pile of ketchup. "You okay?" he managed to ask when his laughter subsided.

Carrie brushed the ketchup away from her face in disgust. This was not how it was supposed to go at all! Luke was perfectly clean and fully shirted, she on the other hand was humiliated.

"You need some help getting up?" Luke asked as he approached her.

Carrie's frown slowly receded as a new and better plan formed in her head. "Please?" she asked quietly.

Luke stepped closer to her and in one fluid motion stood her on her feet from behind. "You okay? Nothing twisted? Nothing broken?"

"I don't know." She tried to add a quiet pained sound to her voice in hopes that he would comfort her.

When he moved around to face her, she wrapped her arms around his body and buried her face into his chest.

"The hell?" Luke exclaimed as he felt her rubbing herself all over him. When he stepped back, he found his shirt completely covered in ketchup.

He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off his body as quickly as possible.

Carrie grinned in victory. Not only was Luke Danes standing in front of her in all his bare chested glory but she'd managed a hug in the process. It was a red letter day! She took a deep breath and settled in for a long lingering look over his perfect pectorals.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed in shock. "What's that?"

"What's what?" he grunted, still angry.

--

"He has a tattoo?" Lorelai muttered in wonder.


End file.
